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Friday, April 15th, 2005
3:12 am - mah baby daddy
At this very moment 24 hours into the future (if that makes sense) I will be cuddled up next to my sweet Jason blissfully snoring after a much needed romp~de~domp~domp. He called at 4:30am today to let us know he was probably going to arrive in Des Moines around 4:30pm or so on Friday. I was a tad disappointed because I had hoped he would be here tonight but I guess they had some trouble getting out of Baghdad or something.

I am SO happy and excited. Jason's mom and I went out and bought some finger paints and a poster board and had Genevieve make a sign that says "Welcome Home Daddy" with her cute lil foot and handprints on it. He'll love it. He will be here until May 1st and then he has gotta go back 8(. So we will be sure to make the best of the time we have! It's way cool that he will be able to be here for Genevieve's first birthday and his own birthday! I just can't even explain how happy I am that he is coming home to visit. I am sure he is excied too!

Well I am tired and have to get up early tomorrow to clean or I'd write more. Gotta rest up for the big fun filled time I have in store for me! 8)


I found this truly disturbing....and completely hilarious - all at the same time!!

Yo baby daddy is the President of the United States.  He's a good guy, so to speak, but not always the smartest.  He is a good baby daddy, though.  Isn't that what's really impo
Yo baby daddy is the President of the United
States! He may not be the most intelligent man
in the world, but damn it, he's a pretty good
baby daddy. That's all that matters, right?


So, who's YO baby daddy?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
3:04 pm - getting excited!
Well as an update - I DID get the student loan fiasco taken care of. They were just getting ansie but they were bluffing on the default status. Bastards. They say and do anything they can to get you to fork out with da money.

Today I am starting to get excited about Jason's arrival. He is probably on a plane somewhere by now but I haven't heard from him yet. It is like a 20 hr flight so I probably won't hear from him until he reaches the states - probably sometime tomorrow night I would guess. I am SOOO excited to see him again!!! I am going to give him the biggest hug ever. I might let Genevieve hug him between my hugs too hehe. I am so glad our little happy family will be together again - even if only for a few days. I need it SOOO badly and I am sure he does too.

On a totally different note - anyone watch the Simple Life? I think that show is hilarious - mostly because of Nicole. She's pretty funny. This season I have only caught 1 and a half episodes and they are doing it totally different this time. It's still funny but its missing something. Now instead of just seeming clueless beyotches living in the country they are just kinda snobby smartass bitches going from job to job and screwing up on purpose. I don't know it just doesn't make them as entertaining somehow when its in an environment they have total control over rather than vice versa. But the show is still funny and I will probably still buy the dvd.

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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
1:15 am - freakin stressed
Well - I found out where part of our income tax refund went. Jason's ex-wife was supposed to pay some overdue taxes the IRS had been hassling them about and she apparently did not. So there is 700-something dollars just gone. I'll see if Jason will call her and ask her about it when he is home. Chances are - we just did taxes before she did hers so we got schmacked with the bill. It is actually written in their divorce decree that she is supposed to pay that though so we'll see. It's just fucking irritating because I have this sinking gut feeling that we will never see a dime of that. *sigh*

Another irritation is my mail getting stuffed away into nooks and cranies I discover too late. Jason's mom is rather obsessive compulsive i her cleaning so I usually find my mail stuffed somewhere in the kitchen area among about 3 other spots. Today while making Jason's birthday card I find a letter from my student loan people telling me I had until the 10th (which strangely is a sunday - how is a bill to be sent by mail due on a sunday?) to pay a certain amt of money or face default on that loan. I about flipped out - silently and to myself of course - but flipped out just the same. Who knows how long that has been sitting there collecting dust. I need to start getting the mail upon its arrival just so I can keep track of the shit that comes for me. I hope I can fix that without any problem. I have the money to do it - I just gotta do it.

On another note - I have no idea who is actually showing up to my daughter's birthday party on saturday. I always thought I was going to be one of those mothers who would have a small family party for my kid's first birthdays and not care who showed up - but I find myself taking it personally when people refuse the invitation - or if they already have plans. Is that weird? I would have thought that weird at one point - not that long ago - in my life. But most of the people who aren't coming are ones that I have attened all their kid's stupid shit. Mike and Kelley who are actually the ones I really had no idea would not come probably aren't coming because Mike's mom is having a garage sale that day... yes... she is having a garage sale. Good gawd. I'm so glad to know that a garage sale is so much more important to my friends! He sounded like he just did a stupid brain fart and forgot about it. I don't know, I am sure I am taking it too personally but it's annoying. When we went to Arwen's birthday party I forced Jason to go and made him stay longer than necessary and he didn't even know them! Ok now I am rambling but I guess that's what this is for so I'll keep at it.

Another person who may or may not show up is my sister in law and her kids. My brother never shows up because he is a chef and is always working. But my sister in law informed my mom that meredith had been invited to a birthday party that day for a friend of hers whom Heather (SIL) cannot stand. Oh but she is probably going to go to that since they had to make reservations for it! Once again - I have gone to every stinking birthday party for all three of their kids and my child's first birthday pops up and they probably aren't coming.

Oddly enough my Dad *is* coming for it and he is the last person I thought would come. Just goes to show you never know. At least Jason's family is coming and of course my Mom will be there. Other than that I really have no idea. I guess I'll just guesstimate how much food to get.

OK a gay room-raiders is on and is pretty funny so I am going to use that as distraction from self-destruction for now.

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Friday, April 8th, 2005
2:53 am - credit cards suck... continued
Somehow my creditors from past cards are tracking down this address. I really have no idea how they did it but they did. Target sent their collectors after me - which didn't end up being a bad thing. There is no question that we need to get both Jason and I's debts paid off and now is the perfect time to chip away at if not pay off most or all of them.

So anyway (got sidetracked) Target - their collectors found me and were offering a 35% reduction payoff amount on what I owed them. Since I haven't made a payment to them since 2002... yes you read that correctly...i figured they would be willing to let me pay them in May (their deal was for April only). The guy was kinda wishy washy about it until I was like - DUDE I haven't paid a dime since the year 2002 - do you really think they can't wait less than 30 days for the payoff??? So he let me talk to his manager and it swiftly taken care of. So yay - another debt paid.

Now I need to get credit reports for Jason and I so I can pay off some more thing. It feels good I have to admit! We need decent credit to be able to get a house - or even an apartment - so I'm doing what I can to fix that for us because I freakin hate having to be dependant on other people for co-signing. People suck.

And on a lighter note...


I am nerdier than 40% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


In my opinion this quiz was not nearly comprehensive enough to cover all nerd bases. It lightly touched on star trek but was mostly asking a bunch of math crap. THERE IS MORE TO A NERD THAN MATH I SAY.

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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
10:42 pm - There are only two certainties in life. Beer and taxes.
Yeah this week has pretty much sucked so far. The main reason being I find out Jason and I are not getting the size of refund we were told. The reason? The root of all evil - credit cards. Apparently we both had PX (army store) credit cards that were over 1k each which they were so nice to deduct from our refund - leaving us with a grand total of 549 dollars. Not even enough to pay off my ring. I was pretty sad. The rest of it was supposed to be a savings safety net which now we do not have. I guess I'll have to start putting away large chunks of money from each pay check to make up for it.

I am trying to look on the bright side. The bright side is - we have some good sized debts paid off now. Something we probably would not have done otherwise - and that is always a good thing. Still sucks though. Oh well what can ya do? Uncle Sam is an asshole. I decided to celebrate with a six pack of corona light. I haven't had that in quite awhile and it is doing a good job of consoling me.

Other bad news - the presents I referred to in earlier posts - have been returned to the store. I ended up spilling the beans to Jason about what it was. They were pet rats. He thought it was a cool thing but also rationalized that his mom would not agree and they would probably end up as cat food. After I got a lecture about bringing rodents into the house of course. He said we could get some when he returns though and he did get a giggle out of it. So April 4th was World Rat Day and guess what I did - took my babies back to the store 8(. He was right though. His mom would have totally freaked. I guess I am just to the point of maybe not caring.

Which brings me back to the issue of Corona Light. I have the six pack up in my room because I think both his parents would freak if they knew there was alcohol in the house. So I suppose I had better drink it before it gets warm. I'm not much of a drinker though so I am having troubles finishing this first one lol. Pretty sad. I did buy lime and everything though so at least I'm doing it up right.

I tried on lingere at victoria's secret yesterday thinking I would wear something cute for Jason when he comes home. After trying on three different outfits I decided to let that wait until I have lost some more weight lol! I ended up just getting some underwear instead which I needed anyway. My life is so thrilling. Jealous aren't you?

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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
10:51 pm - presents again
Well - I had to exchange the present I mentioned earlier for a different version of it. I was reading up on it and decided to do the ole switcheroo. Too bad this makes absolutely no sense to you since you don't know what the present is yet. All in good time my pretty... all in good time.

Jason's parents, Genevieve and I all went out to Jordan Creek Mall today. I got some sunglasses and a Happy Bunny purse and wallet! Genevieve got a cookie! That is all.

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Friday, April 1st, 2005
8:28 pm - yay presents!
Well - today I got Jason and I a joint b-day present. *cough* I cannot say what "it" is because he might read this and then the secret would be out! Anyway - I hope he likes it... and I hope his mom doesn't freak out rofl!

Hmmm a hint that wouldn't give it away...

It's something Jason and I can play with but Genevieve can't until she's older. She can look at it though and touch it if supervised. These colors are all part of the whole gift... brown, green, white, purple and cream. Oh and I am positive Jason's mom and possibly his dad will hate this gift lol! Any guesses? 8)

It was a really odd spur of the moment thing. That must mean I'm lonely. I buy really odd shit when I am sad and lonely. Geez I miss him so much! My friends think I am a weirdo and they are probably right!

In other news, Genevieve and I wore matching Joe's Crab Shack T-shirts today so we were ultra cute. Unfortunately nobody was around to witness our cuteness so I guess I'll have to do that again when Jason is home. I could be really mean and make him get one too so we could all match but that would probably just make everyone who sees us throw up. His mom does that every year for the Fourth of July. She gets everyone to wear matching T-shirts from Old Navy that have the flag on them. It's cute and funny and gross all at the same time!

Well that is about it. I haven't been going to the gym as much as I had originally planned on - go figure! So I need to get back into that again. Probably saying 5 days a week was a little premature but I get all excited about new things for the first day or so then the excitement fades and I quit. But this is one thing I need to get back on top of while I have the chance. I fear blob-dom and refuse to become one. Maybe if I could get myself to at least consistently go 3x a week since that is the bare minimum and then go from there. I definitely have to do something. I suppose I will go tomorrow since I have no other plans!

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Monday, March 28th, 2005
4:26 pm - funny
found this on someone else's blog and had to share!

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Sunday, March 27th, 2005
11:16 pm - happy easter!
I heard from Jason today. I love the days when he calls. Just hearing his voice again makes me feel - SO much happier. We couldn't talk long but he said he had been traveling so he was not in Camp Anaconda at the time. I asked him what he thought about getting a 4-door car and he agreed it would be a good idea. We both have ultra tiny 2 door cars - and oddly enough we have the same make model and year lol! how weird is that? So we are going to trade in one for a family truckster! "you might hate it now honey, but wait till ya drive it!" So that will be fun going car shopping with him when he gets home. Just in the nick of time too because my back was gonna break lifting Genevieve over the seat to put her in!

Today was Easter. All of Jason's usual relatives that show up came over for Easter. His mom hid like 98 eggs for the kids to find - except Camron is the only one capable of actually walking around and finding them. Genevieve found one right away and decided it was fun to suck on so she didn't get any farther than that. I think they ended up watching The Passion later on but luckily my mom showed up to save me from that freak show and we went out to eat chinese food! yay! Camron was sitting there "kinda" watching it too - and as protective as Debbie is over him I can't believe she would let him watch that kind of violence no matter what it is about. I guess since it is about Jesus that makes insane violence ok for kids to watch? That's crazy in my book - then again so is the whole religion so I guess I am the wrong one to ask!

So why do I celebrate Easter if I am not Christian? Honestly I don't know! I guess if I didn't "celebrate" the Christian holidays I grew up with then what other big holidays are left? That would remove Christmas too and you know I'm not giving that up! Then again in my family we never made a big deal about the religious aspect of holidays. It was just a time that family would get together and we'd have presents, candy and really good food - so why give that up? Its fun! So I guess it is just tradition - and both holidays are so commercialized at this point what does it really matter?

On a completely different topic... Terri Schiavo - my opinion? WHO CARES! The shit happens all the time in nursing homes. What makes her so important? Same thing goes to the Scott Peterson trial. Why did that one case get so much publicity? Something bad happens in white suburbia land and the media has a hay-day with it. There are a million people starving to death out on the streets and I don't see anyone trying to run glasses of water and communion to them! Fucking media-whores.


You are practical, straightforward and unpretentious. While you may not be the best communicator, people appreciate your simplicity and modesty!


current mood: bitchy

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Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
1:05 pm - born again christians
My friend Jamie has turned into a total flake now that she has "found God". Now I am hearing that she is "witnessing" to her family. Her sister's boyfriend is actually irritated to the point that he won't even attend any family functions that Jamie will be at because of it.

I hate born again christians. They have to be the most annoying pieces of shit that have ever walked the earth. Really, no that isn't true - just when they happen to be my friends it is true because then I have to hear about it.

Jamie really shocked me with that one too. She has NEVER EVER been the type that I would have thought would do something like that. But the more I think about it the more it makes sense. She has always gone along with the crowd and done whatever everyone else was doing so she could fit in or feel like she did - even when the things might be in direct conflict with her beliefs/morals. I think the same thing is happening now. She could have just as easily joined any cult, drank some purple kool-aid and died in peace without ever bothering any of us about God and how great he is.

So now she is shrugging off all of us "former" friends for her new do-gooder friends of the church. Probably because we are going to Hell and she wants to know some people when she reaches the pearly gates. She pretty much told Mike that she had no time for him. He asked if they could hang out sometime - go out to eat or watch a movie - you know normal things that friends do together! She pretty much said no because "Dayna is so busy with church and stuff." The "and stuff" IS a direct quote by the way. So in more words she said that she has no time for him - like ever. I think it has little to do with how busy Dayna is in church.

What pisses me off is that she doesn't and never has had enough balls just to say what is really on her mind. If she doesn't want to hang out with her old friends anymore because of her new-found - whatever it is - then just fucking say it! Why the excuses? She doesn't want to cut old ties because actually cutting them would take some effort and probably cause some rope burns too - she would rather just let them fray so they will become so irreparable that nobody will even want to or care to bother. That is her way. She has always been like that - avoid confrontation. Well I guess she wins because I'm not going to be the one to save our friendship either. It seems like I am always the one to make contact - always the one to call and ask how she is doing - always the one that ends up listening to her problems. It seems rather lopsided. I don't need her emotional baggage - I have enough of her own. Friends are supposed to help balance it not just drop the whole load on you for you to carry. I would obviously be lying if I said it didn't bother me because it does. She has been my friend since we were tiny kids together - severing a tie like that is hard for me - apparently not as hard for her... and maybe that is what hurts. It's like getting dumped in a way - because I know what she's doing is intentional. Some friends gradually lose touch or whatever - this is not the case here. She is cutting us off. I hope that doesn't come back to bite her in the ass someday. I know better than to burn my bridges.

Not a Christian.

Why did you take this
test?


What Kind of Christian Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


current mood: annoyed

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Saturday, March 19th, 2005
2:10 pm - remodeling
My inlaws continue their quest to remodel their room. I think this has been going on about two weeks now. I'm getting sick of tripping over shit all over the living room just to get a glass out of the china hutch. I helped paint last night but today is kind of a waiting game. Putting some kind of finish on the floor which needs 3 coats and has to dry 2 hrs between each coat. So unfortunately - not much is being accomplished today. I've offered to help a couple times but usually get blown off lol - they are so particular on how they like things done. Anal-retentive even. Nevermind the fact that I have an art-degree and I might actually know what I'm talking about!~

In other news - I should be hearing from Jason tomorrow so I know when he is coming home to visit. I'm hoping he got the 15th instead of the 1st but either is fine. Would be nice for him to be able to be here for Gen and his birthday though!

I was thinking part of our income tax money should go to paying off his car. I don't think there is a ton left on it and we would be saving about a years worth of interest if we paid it off. I don't know. It's rather annoying that I cannot discuss finance stuff or anything for that matter with my husband because he is halfway across the world. I want a normal life so bad. >

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Friday, March 18th, 2005
10:55 am - Tax Time!!
Taxes are done! It took me three trips to H&R block to *get* them done but they are finally done! First trip there on Tuesday I didn't have my daughter's social security number. I guess it didn't even dawn on me that I'd need it until I got there. So I had to make a trip over to the federal building the next day and get it. So then I take that over there on Wednesday and comlete the paperwork. First the guy printed out the wrong forms since I am signing the taxes by power of attorney so he had to reprint everything and it took forever. Was quite annoying since Genevieve was past her naptime at that point and was throwing a major hissy in the middle of H&R block office. Not that I blame her really, it was pretty frustrating. If I had no self control I would have been right with her. Ok so I think I am done there until the next day (Thursday) I get word that my return has been denied because my social security number does not match my name. Well, I never switched my name with the social security administration since I am not working right now anyway. So I had to go back and sign everything with my maiden name. I received an email this morning that says my return was accepted so *whew*. I will get to pay off my wedding ring and I guess Jason and I will decide what to do with the rest.

Some people hate tax time - but I have to say I like it! Even though it was kind of a pain in the ass, we are getting a decent return so that makes it all worth while. I guess it starts to suck when all your kids are grown up and out of the house and you cannot claim them anymore so you end up paying in to the taxes. Another reason why having kids is awesome lol!

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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
11:01 pm - ~birthday celebrations~
Today I went out with a group of friends to celebrate my 27th birthday (which was actually yesterday). It was pretty fun! They brought cards and gifts. It was also Sherrese and Kjell's 2nd wedding anniversary!

But my friend Sherrese surprised me with the sweetest thing ever. She had made a card for me that was "from Genevieve" since Jason isn't here to do cute stuff like that. She glued alpha-bits on the outside of the card that said "Happy Birthday Mom" and signed the card G-Dawg. lol! It put the tears in my eyes for sure! It's funny that she did that because I had actually thought about it too and was kind of sad that nobody would be doing that for me since it is usually the other parent's job. For her to think of that and do that for me meant so much and was the sweetest thing in the world. I have such great friends.

I tried to do my taxes today but didn't realize I'd need Genevieve's SS number for it. Silly me. So tomorrow I have to go get that - they never did send me her card. Looks like we will be getting a decent return - nothing huge but at least enough to pay off my ring and have some left over so it's alright! I cannot WAIT to get that ring on my figer woo woo!!!! I think I'll get my nails done so I can show it off and shove it in everyone's face lol! Right now I'm wearing Jason's parent's first wedding ring. His mom let me borrow it when we got married since we couldn't afford to dish out the cash for the ring on such short notice when we got married. We kind of had to get married before we had planned because of his deployment! Don't get me wrong now - it was very sweet for her to let me wear her ring and im flatterd that she would want me to wear it - but i want MY ring now hehe.

All in all it was a pretty good day. I didn't make it to the gym because taxes took a little longer than I had figured but hey it's my birthday! 8) OK so it isn't technically my birthday anymore but... ok so I have no excuse lol.

current mood: touched

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Monday, March 14th, 2005
1:29 am - ~happy birthday to me~
Well it is my birthday technically since it is past midnight. Ding 27~! (sorry, eq joke)

So far the best present I've gotten was Jason calling me tonight! It was totally unexpected for him to call me so late since he is 9 hours ahead of me right now and usually calls during his night-time (my morning). So he was officially the first person to wish me a happy birthday! *swoon*

I talked with him about the cookie situation I mentioned in the post below and we decided that I am just a horrible cookie maker. I can make a mean lamb chop with mint pesto and stuffed mushrooms but I can't make a friggin chocolate chip cookie. That's sad - and strange all at the same time. He promised to help me learn the art of the cookie when he comes home on leave which will be in April sometime! YAYZ. Or maybe I'll just have him make the cookies - I seem to jinx them every time. He reminded me of these horrid peanut butter cookies I made once that I had totally forgotten about. They looked awesome - their texture was PERFECT - unfortunately they tasted like ass. So my cookies either look good and taste like ass or look like ass and taste good. GO FIGURE!

I also located the power of attorney from him I needed to do our taxes so we can hopefully have the return by the time he comes home for leave! Which is GOOD because I want to rent a suite at a hotel and spend some "quality time" with my sweetie. I cannot wait!!

My birthday will be pretty uneventful. I think my mom is coming over sometime during the day - at which point she will try to get money out of me for the cell phone which is overdue - oopsie. I also have plans to go to the gym and work on my lower body, abs and cardio. I'm going to try to drag her along but we'll see. Perhaps some shopping - or I should say walking - around the mall. Actually I do need to get a George Foreman grill though. I used to have one but it was all icky and falling apart so I tossed it when we moved. Since I am trying to eat healthy one would come in very useful to make fish and chicken lunches and dinners. I needed a bigger one anyway since I'm not a single gal anymore. So yep thats my plan. Mom, gym, buy a george foreman grill. Happy birthday to me! lol.

Tuesday night I'll be going to a place called Ohana steak house. It's one of those places where they cook the food in front of you and throw stuff around. Hopefully we all get out of there without a head injury. I've invited several of my friends that live around the area.

Oh another thing - I found out I am going to be the maid of honor in my friend Erica's wedding! I was pretty surprised since I don't really talk to her that often. But that's cool! More motivation to get into the gym!

Well that's all for now. I am sure I'll ramble more later on!

you smell like butt
congratulations. you are the "you smell like
butt" bunny. your brutally honest and
always say whats on your mind.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


current mood: content

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Sunday, March 13th, 2005
4:17 pm - Bare Minerals Makeup
i finally broke down and ordered some of this makeup. im kind of an info-mercial addict lol - so i've had my eye on this product for quite awhile. well i ran out of my other makeup and needed something new so i ordered this instead and i have to say i love this stuff!

it is fun to put on - easy to put on and looks very natural. it just makes you look healthy - not like you're wearing a bunch of makeup. their mascara is also very good and im pretty picky about mascara. im not sure if id recommend this to women who have wrinkles though because it does seem to want to settle in around my eye area - and i don't even have visible wrinkles yet. so i do have to be careful about going easy around the eye area. but otherwise it is really awesome stuff. it would be hard to go back to liquid foundation after trying this!

im tempted to try some of the other mineral makeups because ive heard good things about some of the others out there but i am pretty happy with this one. now i want to give all of my friends makeovers with it lol!

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4:14 pm - birthday
well - my birthday is tomorrow (march 14th)! i made myself some chocolate chip cookies since i am not a huge cake fan - and if that isn't sad enough i think i screwed them up because they are too brown on the outside and not fully cooked in the middle. im usually a good cook so i was surprised at my failure at something as simple as a chocolate chip cookie. but i think i know the problem. *I* shouldn't be making them! its my birthday cookies - someone else should be!

nothing to see here folks, nothing to see here. just a mini-pitty party. move along now....


and why does this not surprise me?? even quizilla thinks i have a fat ass!

Barbie Got Back
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla


current mood: disappointed

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1:07 am - working out and stuff...
Well I joined a gym. I decided I am not going to be one of those fat frumpy moms - nope no way. I wanna be a MILF baby! lol! My plan is to do weight training mon/wed/fri and do cardio mon-friday. I also need to be more careful about what I eat. I think that will be trickier than working out - especially with my late night eating habits!! ><

I don't have plans on hiring a personal trainer - as that is more than I really care to spend - though I'm sure it'd be worth it. I'm going to try it on my own, do research on it and see what happens. I'm pretty excited about it. It gets me out of the house and gives me a break from being a "mom" for awhile. Though I still go over and peek in the day-care window several times while I'm at the gym. I also leave before I probably should because I start feeling bad about leaving her in the day-care even though she is perfectly fine and probably having fun. I guess I have separation anxiety heh. I suppose it's something I will get used to - or have to get used to. I'm used to being around her all day so it's just kinda strange in a non-good way. I never thought I'd be this way - in fact, at one time in my life I probably would have made fun of people who acted like I do about her.

Honestly, I am not sure why I want to become a "firm hottie" at this stage in my life. It's not like I have to catch a husband - already got one! I can't really say I am doing it for him either, though I do want to look nice for him. It would make me feel good to know that I was visually pleasing to him. And I mean REALLY visually pleasing - not just saying he thinks I'm hot so he can get some nookie - but really meaning it! 8) But - I think it's more for me - *I* want to look good. So I can look at myself in the mirror when I try on clothing and go - oh yeah baby! Shit - that's kinda dumb and twisted. Oh well. Fuck it.

current mood: tired

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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
11:06 pm - My A, B, C's
The A,B,Cs of happybunnytime!
A - Age you got your first kiss: I'm not really sure on this. I'd guess 13 or 14 - probably 13.

B - Band listening to right now: Nothing actually.

C - Crush: my husband Jason of course but I've also got a huge crush on the guy in the Garnier Fructis commerical LOL - oh and Conan O'Brien (hey shut up!)! 8)

D - Dad's name: John

E - Easiest person to talk to: Jaosn

F - Favorite ice cream: Ben and Jerry's twisted chocolate chip cookie dough and fudge brownie!

G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: worms - sour!

H - Hometown: Ackley, Iowa... I couldn't get out of that town fast enough!

I - Instruments: drums when I was in high school. own a violin but never learned to play it.

J- Junior High: was in Ackley - didn't have a name. It was dramatic probably. I don't really remember.

K - Kids: one daughter.

L - Longest car ride ever: Ackley to Orlando!!

M - Mom's name: Judy

N - Nicknames: Chrissy, Chris, Chrystal-tiny

O - One wish: For Jason to come home safe!!!!

P - Phobia[s]: driving when it is icy out. i cannot STAND it!

Q - Quote: "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them."

R - Reason to smile: Knowing that Jason will be home eventually and we can finally be a real family.

S - Song you sang last: "You are my Sunshine"

T - Time you woke up today: 9am

U - Unknown fact about me: not telling - then it wouldn't be unknown now would it?

V - Vegetable you hate: beets!!

W - Worst habit(s): eating junk food late at night in front of the computer!

X - X-rays you've had: teeth and i don't remember what all else.

Y - Yummy food: definitely sushi!

Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
1:29 am - going crazy... just crazy
Had to listen to my daughter cry for 5 hours straight tonight. The whole experience totally broke my heart. I cried afterwords. Long story short - my mother in law insisted that she sleep in her crib. Why the hell I agreed to this I don't know. Am I not her mom?? Yes, it is safer than having her in bed with me. Oh I suppose I may as well tell the story at this point...

OK so Genevieve is taking a nap... in my bed... where she ALWAYS sleeps/naps whatever. I notice she is low on diapers and my MIL happens to be home so I ask if she would mind *watching* her while I run to the drug store to get some diapers. We are talking 20 minutes tops. She says sure. I ALSO mention that she has already been napping about an hour so she will probably wake up soon! Then I head off to the drug store. MIL was in the kitchen when I left which happens to be where the baby monitor was so I even turned it on for her.

Upon my arrival home - I walk in the door and hear Genevieve crying - quite loudly. I run up towards the stairs and MIL is carrying her downstairs and proceeds to *yell* at me that Genevieve had "fallen" out of bed and that she would "NOT be sleeping in my bed anymore." and that "this won't be happening again." As she holds my daughter in a protective way almost as if she is trying to shield her from me... the oh so irresponsible mom who would let her daughter sleep in her bed.

This infuriated me to no end. 1 - SHE is the one who was watching her when this incident happened.
2 - I mentioned specifically that she had already been sleeping an hour so she would be waking up soon!
3 - A MONTH ago or more I asked FIL to lower the crib more than once because where it was at she could have easily flipped right over the bar which would have been even worse than falling out of bed since she would fall directly on her head.
4 - Genevieve was surrounded by pillows so she would have had to have been completely awake, crawled over the pillows and onto the floor... I am to believe that she woke up and made absolutely NO noise that would have alerted them to go into the room and check to see if she is awake? I have NEVER known this little girl to wake up and not make a peep...EVER.
5 - MIL knew full well that she was up in my room on the bed. If she was oh so concerned and stressed out about that and wasn't capable of watching her up there she sure could have moved her to any other location in the house.
6 - After talking to my BIL who was in the house when this happened, he tells me that he was not even aware that Genevieve was here since they were not in the same room with her and they were not in the same room as the baby monitor either. HMMMM now I wonder why they didn't hear her????

And this woman has the nerve to yell at me when she was the one who was supposed to be watching my daughter??? That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever witness. I am almost shaking mad right now thinking about it!

If this had happened when I was home, first of all I wouldn't have made such a flipping big deal about it. Yes, she fell out of bed - yes that sucks and probably hurt. But kids fall... it happens! She was fine! Why get all freaked out and yell and panic in front of her - the only thing that accomplishes is making her more freaked out! SHeesh?? This kind of behavior from a person who was a RN is just insane. And second of all I would have NEVER - EVER turned the blame onto another person. EVER. If you're watching a baby and they hurt themselves - it's probably your fault! So fix the kid up, kiss the boo boo's and APOLOGIZE to the parents that something happened while they were gone. Even if it ISNT your fault ... somehow - you should apologize because the LAST thing that is appropriate is have the parent come home and have the friggin caretaker yell at them because their kid has been injured under their care! *insert any random cuss word combination here*

So anyway - needless to say the crib got lowered last night. She slept in it ok. I ended up bringing her into my bed in the middle of the night after she woke. Tonight was not so good. She fell asleep - I put her in her crib - she cried. Rinse repeat = rinse repeat - about 15 times until 2am. So we are talking about 5 hours of wrestling with her to get her to sleep. DURING WHICH TIME - MIL comes in and asks if there is anything she could do. God how I wanted to say some smart-ass thing but I just can't bring myself to be that rude. I don't want to damage her and make her feel the way she made me feel yesterday. As mad as I am - I am going to be a better person than that. HOWEVER - I did leave the door cracked open to share the crying with them :P. At one point I was crying too.

It just breaks my heart to have to hear her cry - and be right there and not be able to just tell her to go to sleep so she understands. It just simply breaks my heart. But it's true - it will be better in the long run for her to get used to it. It's just under bad circumstances and I wasn't quite weaned yet from nighttime cuddles either so it's pretty hard on me too. 8( I sure hope this gets easier soon because it is just so awful to have to watch that little sweetheart cry. I hate to imagine what she must be thinking with me holding her down and just watching her cry when all she wants to do is cuddle up and sleep with me. Little does she know I feel the same way.

To top it all off, Jason was supposed to be on a convoy for several days I believe so I didn't hear from him on Sunday like usual. Then I see this crap about convoys being hit by bombs and there are 33 dead and more wounded. I don't know how much crap I can take all at once. I hope he calls me soon.

Thanks for hearing my vent.

For those that don't know the lingo: MIL = mother in law; FIL = father in law; BIL = brother in law

current mood: stressed

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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
11:03 am - Game Patches...
Simply annoy the hell out of me. During the day I don't have much time to play. My play time is basically confined to 2 times... 1: when Genevieve is taking a nap and 2: after Genevieve has gone to sleep at night. Both play times are interrupted by her waking up usually because she is a very light sleeper. Alrightie! So here I am - tapping my foot faster than necessary because I need my EQ2 fix because Genevieve is finally asleep! Unfortunately I am waiting on a long ass patch (which no doubt will be followed by another patch to fix this patch). Oh - oh - and now i hear the starting of Genevieve waking up. DAMN SONY BASTARDS@! *clears throat* ~ yeah I am ok now.

In other game related news - I made a new character last night. The whole fighter class thing was kinda not me - but I will probably still play her. Now I made a healer which I will no doubt hate and end up deleting but I made her nonetheless. I am sure I will end up playing a caster like always. This char was only for fun anyway because she is *evil* - I just wanted to see what Freeport looks like hehe. Oh - I play on the Najena server in case anyone cares.

**EDIT: I now play on the Grobb server.

current mood: anxious

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